Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dizzy Music

If life is a song then mine feels like 'Flight of the Bumblebee' lately. Everything just goes by so quickly. My perception of time begins to become warped and distorted as events rush past my tired self. There is so much that I wish to accomplish and never quite enough time to do it. Even as I remove things from my schedule and regretfully decline invitations from my friends, I find time working against me.

My dad and I were going to plan a garden for the Summer months during my break from school, but as my break nears its end, I doubt that we will have time. Many of my friends will only be in town for a few more days, but I wont get to see them. How quickly time flies!

I am very tired, yet I love this crazy dance that my life often becomes. In and out of the dizzy music, I know the steps and the emotions. The emotions are usually unwelcome, but hopefully I have more or less managed to no longer allow them to control my actions. The steps: pray, rest, pray, slow down, pray, do the best I can, and pray. ^_^

Yeah, basically, prayer is what makes the difference. Still, I feel weary. Dealing with feelings is tough. It's easy to let them overcome my efforts to follow Christ. Being an especially emotional person hardly helps. It makes self-discipline especially challenging. That's where grace comes in. I am absolutely certain that God's grace is what gets me through each day. Without Him, I am nothing. Without Him, I would despair, lose my temper, insist on my own way, eat like a horse, and stay lazily in bed all day every day. He is my partner in this dizzy dance and He has the lead.

I'm not a very good follower in my life dance or in real dancing, but, thankfully, God is a good leader. He is such a good leader that sometimes, I even look like I'm good at this. So, when my days become difficult and my spirit is low, as they begin to seem, God will get me through. Thank God!

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