Saturday, January 8, 2011
For those of you who've been following my blog since the beginning, there has always been a running reflection on the changes in my life and how they affect me. As a child I used to become so troubled over change. I cry to my mother and ask why things couldn't just stay the way they were. Perhaps that is why I had such a fascination with Peter Pan, when I was growing up. I mean, seriously, there's a boy, who's life never changes, and he spends all of his time having great adventures.
Back then, change scared me because life was becoming harder and I didn't want to lose the way things were. Now it's not so much that I don't like what's coming as much as I just don't know what's coming. I don't know at all. Sure, I make plans, but I have less of a sense that my plans will come to fruition than I used to. Not that things worked out according to my will more in the past than they do now, but as I grow older, I become more aware of the general uncertainty of things and more decisions are in my hands, rather than those in positions of authority over me.
Now I have to choose my own fate and I don't even have my bearings straight most days. Also, I used to be better at letting God lead. (I was never very good at it, so you can just imagine how much worse I've become.) Anyway, it's something I intend to improve on during this year. So, please keep me in your prayers. =) Thanks!
In the mean time, I'm trying to figure out where I'm going in relation to the next moment. How can I prepare? How can I be aware? What will I need to do to stay focused? How can I best serve? What can I do to better help those around me?
P.S. I know the picture is huge, but I wanted to do justice to her face. =)
at 7:09 PM