Friday, March 15, 2013
I've been really grumpy lately. Perhaps you can relate. I've been regularly experiencing that oh-no-not-another-one-grumble-to-your-coworkers-snap-at-your-siblings-hiding-from-the-world sort of attitude over the last several days. Weeks. Okay, months. Some way to spend Lent, right?
Given my sour mood, which fluctuates in degree on a day to day basis, I've been thinking a lot about what to do when such moods come up.
I work hard. I work hard because it's important. I work hard because it's my duty. I work hard because it's expected. I work hard because I don't want to do a half-way job. Working hard is...hard. It's also not enough.
In order for work to bear fruit, you need to unite to something more valuable - it needs to have meaning. Some people look for meaning in the things that work will bring to their lives (e.g. money, a mental challenge, nice belongings, travels, etc.). Others look for meaning in the work itself, seeking jobs that make a difference in the world or jobs that involve their personal passions. Those answers are not always an option. Many people do not have the liberty or the capabilities to choose a job that they find fulfilling in itself. Others are unable to find work that pays out more than the minimum to live by. So, what then? How does one add meaning to the daily grind? How does one save his spirit from the weight and the tediousness of the mundane?
For me, the answer is prayer. The answer is martyrdom. The answer is the crucifixion. When we make an effort to unite ourselves to Christ, every act has meaning. This is true, not because of the greatness of our acts, but because of the greatness of his love. Somehow, when walking through the day with Christ, we make it. Often times, we just barely make it, but we do make it, with Christ. I rarely feel Christ's presence as I struggle through those rough days, but I know that He is there.
Every day that I make it, I know that with more certainty. Little by little, I am learning. But lately, I'm struggling. So, my dear friends, please say a prayer for me. I'll be praying for you too.