Wednesday, November 4, 2009

On Adventure, Dreaming, and Fear

When I was little, I used to wonder and dream of the great adventures that were to come as I grew into an adult. I was not afraid of what was to come, because I felt that even though it was incredibly uncertain, it would surely be amazing. Even the troubles that I knew would come didn't really frighten me because I knew that I would be older and that I'd know more about what to do and how to act.

Now that I'm older, that knowledge seems to be such a small consolation. The more I know, the more aware I become of my own great ignorance. I realize that this has made me significantly less daring. The smallest changes in my daily routines are much more frightening than they ever should have been. I've surrounded myself with so many rules in order to protect myself from possible mistakes or any possible repeats of past injuries. However, many of these rules also prevent me from experience the dreams and joys that I felt so certain would come when I got older. Some of them, I let slide by rather and rise up and claim them, because I am too afraid.

It's time to find a better balance between safety and adventure. There is no adventure without sense of danger, so I need to learn to take risks. However, I need to still be careful to avoid throwing caution to the wind. I don't want to be bound by fear, but I do want to be wise. Maybe I'll find wisdom when I become okay with my own foolishness. ^_^

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