Moments of Grace

           Some days are like perfect, romantic, little gifts.  They are overwhelmingly beautiful and they surround you with hope and joy.  Today a experienced such a moment with my mother.  The two of us had been running errands and getting ready for upcoming events.  We were both in my car, with the rain storming outside and the lightning flashing.  There as we made our way home amidst the harsh weather conditions, I found myself sharing a story about a special time, when God reached out to me in a special way through song.

           It was a night when I was at one of my lowest points.  Many times in my life I have done things that I am not proud of and this had been one such time.  I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to.  I felt broken beyond any hope of mending.  I looked into my heart and all I could see was wretchedness.  I was thoroughly disgusted with myself.  It was one of the darkest moments of my life.  I had fallen down and was so very close to giving up, but there was something holding me back.  A song held me back.


           A few years before I had been on a retreat where I had received a CD called "Wake Up Dead People" by Sean Forrest.  On that CD there was a song that I had all but forgotten.  Still there was a part of that song that played in my head over and over again.  The words were, "I saw Jesus holding your head as you fell down, whispering words of love to you..."


           Over and over, I could hear the words in my head.  I couldn't bear to hear them.  Don't love me!  I have betrayed you so greatly!  But the words played over and over again in my head.  I felt so low that it was painful to hear of His love.  But my Lord was persistent and soon the song was all I could think of.  After a while, I drifted off to sleep.


          That next morning, I immediately listened to the song to get it out of my head. These were the words:

           "So, you've fallen in sin. You crawl through your skin with guilt and shame.  How could anyone love you, you wretched one?  You think you're alone, but there's something you should know.  I saw Jesus holding your head as you fell down, whispering words of love to you.  I saw Jesus holding you head as you fell down, whispering words of love to you.  You may have fallen, but you can't fall from his arms and his love.
            "So, you've fallen in sin and you can't find a friend who'll stand up for you.  How could anyone love you, you wretched one?  You think you're alone, but there's something you should know.  I saw Jesus holding your head as you fell down, whispering words of love to you.  I saw Jesus holding you head as you fell down, whispering words of love to you.  You may have fallen, but you can't fall from his arms and his love.
           "I will not judge you my friend. I may fall down there again myself one day.  I will not judge you my friend.  'Cause you may have fallen, but you must get up.  Confess your sins, let the Lord pick you up.  You may have fallen, but you must get up, 'cause you've fallen in sin, but you can't fall from His arms and His love."


           Today as my mom and I were in the car, this song came on my CD player and I was able to share the history of this song with my mom as we listened to it.  It was a very special moment.  I cannot ever express what it means to know that I have such a mother with whom I can share the specific details of this story and feel completely safe and loved.  This is, for me, a moment of Divine Grace.  Thank you, Jesus!