Princess in the Tower

This post is a tribute to the modern day knights.  Girls like to whine a lot about how chivalry is dead and how men aren't as brave, strong, noble, etc. as they were of old.  I think that is all rubbish.  Perhaps I have had a particularly unique experience with the men of this world, but I have met a number of extraordinary ones who are all of those things and more.  Through the way they chose to live, they make me want to be a better person so that I can be worthy of their acquaintance.

It is a huge travesty to say that there are no good men (left).  They are out there fighting the good fight and living life to the best of their ability.  Ladies, don't take them for granted, because they are not everywhere and strive to be what they are.

To all of the men out there who strive to live with honor, to stand up for those who are weaker and more helpless, to be the best versions of themselves, to provide for their families and their loved ones, and who aspire to greatness, thank you.

I want you to know that even though we don't say it often to you, the ladies do notice.  They see your strengths and your good qualities and they admire you for it.  Strive on noble, knights!  Your efforts will not go unnoticed or unlauded.  We appreciate you.

That is really all that I wanted to say.

On Kindness

Dear whoever cares,
Please give each other a break.  Lately I've been hearing/seeing a lot of people being really hard on each other and it is so disheartening.  I've been rereading "I Believe in Love" by Fr. Jean Elbee and at one point he mentions that the reason why it is so hard for people to accept God's mercy is because we show so little mercy towards each other and that is not just.  Fr. Elbee argues that true justice necessitates mercy.  Here's why: we, as humans, have a fallen nature.  What does that mean?  It means we are predisposed to be selfish, prideful, impatient, inconsiderate, dishonest, lustful, gluttonous, etc.  On our own, we are not capable of overcoming this.  So, God does not expect us to (not on our own, that is).

As human beings, we tend to always be seeking perfection, or the next best thing.  We want perfect happiness, perfect friends, the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect car, etc., but this is not a reasonable expectation in light of the fallen nature of human beings.   Life is not perfect.  People are selfish.  People are mean.  People are annoying.  People are prideful.

Does this mean that we should all give up and that goodness, holiness is futile?  Well, yes and no.  On our own, holiness is futile, but we are not on our own.  Christ has given us everything we need to grow closer to Him each day.  It really is as simple as saying, "Jesus, I am not good, but I want to be.  Help me to be better."  If we keep saying that and living that every day to the best of our ability, then He really will take care of the rest.   We have to exert all of our effort and then trust Him to bless the results.  And when (please note that I said "when" and not "if") we fail, we must humbly turn to Him, sincerely repent and be reconciled, then begin anew.

But if we are going to ask for His clemency, then we must be willing to give our own as well, not once, not seven times, not seventy times, but always.  The failings and weaknesses of others, even those that hurt us, should inspire our compassion and not our contempt.  Protect yourself from abuses, of course, but seek always to be reconciled to one another if at all possible.  Measure your words and try not to speak out of malice or a desire to do harm.  Do not lash out at one another.  If you have done wrong, apologize.

Be one, as the Trinity are one, as the Mystical Body of Christ is one.  Seek not to perfect others, but to perfect yourself.  Seek to grow in holiness and trust that God will grant that request.  If we become truly holy, then, and only then, can we transform the lives ff those around us.

I realize that this letter/post can come off as extremely preachy or whatever, but I wanted to say it because it applies to me just as much as to anyone else, maybe even more.  But I look at the world and I am overwhelmed by the lack of compassion for human frailty and how quickly we all condemn one another.  This is not just.  This is not good.

Over and over again in the scriptures, Christ urges us to love one another.  This is not some cliche' Barney message about how we all need to sing songs and hug each other to make the world a better place.  This is the tough message about fighting the fight.  It's about loving the friend who betrays your trust.  It's about acknowledging our own faults while overlooking those of our brother.  It's about forgiving the ones who falsely accuse you.  It's about accepting that our understanding of reality is imperfect and others may not be the villains we imagine them to be.

"Love one another as I have loved you."  How has He loved us?  When we betrayed Him, rejected Him, ignored Him, and beat Him, He chose to humble Himself to our own lowly fragile state, take on our sins, and die for our crimes.  This is love!  This is what we are called to do!

"Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, you do unto me."  Do you want to know how well you love?  Look to the person you love least.  To whom are you least kind?  Whom do you regard with spite, condescension, loathing, judgement, bitterness?  However much you love that person, that is how much you love.  What a hard truth this is, yet how much better and kinder the world would be if we could but remember it in our daily lives.

No one is the way they are without a reason.  Remember that.   When someone hurts you, remember that there is more to the picture than you are able to see.  Do not forget that they may not have intended harm or even be aware of the harm they caused.  And even if they did intend the harm, remember that people who lash out are broken people, full of fear, doubt, and self-loathing and do not look upon them with anger or smug pride but remember your own insecurities, doubts, and fears and see those persons as equals.  We are brothers in arms, struggling through this war together.  Let us not destroy our own allies.

Forgive.  Speak with words of kindness and healing.  Curb your anger and surrender it to God.  Do not presume to know the fates of others, just love to the best of you ability.  I read somewhere once, "Love and do what you will".  I believe that.

I believe in love.  I believe in the power of love to transform lives.  It starts with you and I.  Don't be afraid to begin.  Be patient.  Don't expect to see the fruits of your labors, but with an audacious confidence believe that they will come.

I just needed to say that.  Thanks for reading.

-T

Dream

There is something so beautiful.  It is in the promise of tomorrow.  It is the sweeping scores of the sweetest music.  It is in the sweet smile of a young child.  It is in that act of kindness that lights your day.  It is in the kind and affirming words of a friend.  It is in the love of a young, newly in love couple.  It is in the strong, sturdy love that has weathered a lifetime of storms.  It is in a group of girls just being silly together.  It is in the young boys conquering the great dragons of their adventures. 

It is in the hearts and imaginations of the young and the young at heart who not only see the world for what it is but also for all its possibilities.  It is in the soul that chooses to put everything on the line by baring itself to another.  It is in the fairytales.  It is in the dreamers.  It is in the father who struggles to provide for his family.  It is in the mother who stays up nights worrying about the well being of her children.  

It is in the sacrificial love of one who would lay down his life for love of another.  It is in the upward climb to Calvary.  It is in the mysterious dance of life.  It is in the baptism of a newborn baby.  It is the voice of a young singer who dreams of greatness.  It is in the steps of the dancer who believes she can fly.  It is in the wind dancing around you, making you feel precious and enchanting.

Find that in your life and cherish it.  You deserve it.

Growing Pains

Monarch butterfly cocoon

This is my 100th blog post! That is actually the main reason why I haven't updated my blog in such a long while.  I wanted to write something of value for this milestone.  I don't really know if this actually qualifies as such or not, but I've decided to write it anyway.  So here goes...

I'm living in a foreign country right now.  I'm living here alone.  This is a complete reversal for me.  In general, I am accustomed to being surrounded by people I know and love at pretty much all times.  Here I am alone.  It's just me.  That's it.

I don't like it.

Don't get me wrong.  The country is interesting and new and sometimes very exciting.  But here as I am nearly always alone, I am directly confronted with myself.  All of my weaknesses, all my fears, all of my insecurities, and all of my longings are bared before me.  It's awkward.

This might seem strange to many of you and probably old news to many more of you, but I am a perfectionist.  No, I don't keep my room neat.  Yes, I do procrastinate.  I am a very specific sort of perfectionist.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to personal behavior, particularly my own.  (No, this is not a recent epiphany.  I have been aware of this for some time.)

I don't allow myself the luxury of making mistakes.  Don't misunderstand.  I am not saying that I don't make mistakes.  I'm just saying that when I do, and believe me I do, I am extremely hard on myself.  I try very hard to be likable.  In fact, I think that I might be more afraid of being annoying than I am of being wrong.

Being alone is forcing me to face myself.  It's forcing me to face my fears.  I wanted it to.  Now, it is.

I'm definitely experiencing some serious growing pains right now.  But I've decided to take this as an opportunity.   This will be my opportunity to surrender my anxieties to Christ and learn to just do my best.  That's enough.

The same is true for you.  Just do your best.  Just be yourself.  That's enough.

Graduation Day

So, there's this super cliché song, by Vitamin C that is all about graduating.  Nearly everyone is familiar with it and high school students really like to listen to it during their senior year.  I was certainly among those high school students.

Now it's time for a confession: That song used to make me cry.  In high school, that song was all about leaving behind the familiar, not seeing friends as often, and generally good things ending.  It was about goodbyes, endings, and fears.  When I would listen to that song in high school, I would always look to the past.  I would look to those moments that were gone, which we would never get to have again.  High school went by so quickly for me.  I felt as if I just blinked and it was gone.

Yesterday, I just graduated from college.  Soon, I'll be moving out of the country.  College has ended and another graduation day has come and gone.  Now I find myself thinking about that song and realizing that it isn't really about high school at all.  It's about graduating from college (or at least, it is for me).  

While high school graduation was filled with a sense of reluctantly and fearfully leaving things behind, college graduation doesn't really seem as dramatic.  This is strange to me, especially since I am leaving the country and literally leaving the people and places that I love behind.  But, for me, it's the truth.

I suddenly feel old.  Not old, I suppose, not really.  I feel adult.  When I was younger, I thought being adult meant having all the answers, being sure, and being fearless.  I have realized for some time now, that this is not the case.  But I do have this new sense of responsibility and duty that has changed a little bit.  I don't want to hide behind the strength of others anymore.  I want to go out and test my own strengths (and weaknesses) and see where improvement is needed.

It's not that I'm not afraid anymore, but that I just don't care.  I don't care that I'm frightened out of my mind to move away from everything that I know.  That just isn't really important when the other factors are considered.  Fear cannot be the ruler of my life.  I refuse to let fear stop me.

I can do this.  I know that I can.  I have God's help, the support and prayers of my family and friends, and the ability to think on my feet.  Aside from that and the ability to ask directions in Chinese, what else do I really need?  (This is a rhetorical question.)  Anyway, in the immortal words of Auntie Mame, it's time to "Live! Live! Live!"

"Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly" - vitamin c