What Makes You Happy?

If you could do anything you wanted today, what would it be?  I don't mean if you were all-powerful.  I'm talking about if the schedule was completely open and money wasn't an object what would you do?

If you could choose any career, which would you choose?

If you could spend the week with any person or group of person, who would you choose?

Do you know what you want?  Do you know what you're good at?  Do you know who you love?  Do you know who loves you?  Do you know how you like to spend your time?  Do you make the decisions in your life or do you let others decide for you?  Do you believe in yourself?  Do you believe in others?  What makes you happy?

Moods

Some days, I wake up in an odd mood.  I don't want to be alone, I'm restless, I have trouble focusing on one thought process for very long, and I just want to do anything but what I'm supposed to do(i.e. work, cleaning, running errands, etc.).  On those days, I just want to blow everything off and just do something fun. 

As I can't actually do that, I end up procrastinating instead.  Essentially, that it what I'm doing now.  I don't want to clean my room and get ready for work, so instead, I'm writing a blog post about moodiness. 

I know that I'm not the only one in the world who experiences such days.  Actually, I'm pretty confident that this is a regular occurrence in the human condition.  So what can we do to combat such moods?  I've got to go to work.  If I want to keep my job, then work is pretty much unavoidable.   My room has needed to be straightened up for a good week now, so I really do have to get on it.  It stresses my mom out when the room stays messy and I personally am trying to lick the habit of letting it get messy in the first place.  So, the cleaning, too, must be done.

The picture of the little pouty girl perfectly illustrates my reaction to these inevitable elements of my day.   Unfortunately, in such cases as these, resistance really is futile and will probably only make things worse.  So, pouting aside, I need to snap to it. 

My solution: prayer, family, and song.

I'm at home for the summer, with my wonderful family constantly at hand.   I shall make use of this by hurrying to clean up before work so as to have time with them before I leave.   I went to Mass today and I'll probably run by the chapel after work.  That will definitely help me push through the mood.  Finally,  I bought a new song on iTunes and am now listening to some fun tunes while I blog/clean.  Win!

Anyway, that's my three step solution to pushing through moodiness.  It probably doesn't work for everyone, but it usually works for me.  If anyone has additional suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them!  Either way, I have to go clean now! ^_^

Have a good day!

Back to Work

Well, folks, here goes.  I'm about to head out for my first day back at my summer job.  I can't say that I'm truly thrilled, but I'm not about to cry either.  The thing is, I woke up this morning with a pretty bad headache, which was not remotely helped by the ibuprofen that I took for it, and when my family and I were saying the Tuesday rosary with our next door neighbors, I had a headache related epiphany.

Today we meditated on the sorrowful mysteries, as we do every Tuesday.  As we were praying I realized that my headaches can be my own personal crown of thorns.  It is not a new idea by any means, but still one that really helped me not mind the headache.

After the rosary, I went up to my room to get ready for work and it occurred to me that I ought not to limit myself to offering up physical headaches.  I can offer up the metaphorical ones as well!  So here I go!  I'm off to work and hopefully, through my little crowns of thorns, to win a martyr's crown as well. 

Dream, when you're feeling blue...

Before I begin this post, feast your eyes on this:

 

Do not such places inspire you to dream?

Lately I have been feeling especially "day-dreamy", not in the way of imagining that I'm someone else, but in the way of feeling as if I could do something really wonderful.  I feel a little bit unstoppable.  I feel a little bit as if I can be one of those quirky characters in movies.  The fearless ones, who do crazy but harmless things just for the heck of it and totally change someone's life. 

I haven't really figured out how I'm going to accomplish this dramatic heroism, but look out, because I'm sure going to try.

P.S. I have removed all of my short story posts until such a time as I can post the whole thing.

On Disappointment

Sometimes we just get our hopes up.  Maybe not in a big way, but it happens, right?  Even though there's a part of us that keeps saying, "Don't hope.  It's not going to happen to you" there's always that other part that says, "but what if it does?  What would that be like?"  Hope is great.  It's what dreams are often made of.

Some people aren't afraid to dream big.  They are confident that what they want is out there and they are capable of achieving it.  I admire those people a lot.  They are going to be the movers and shakers of this world.  They are not afraid of their own shortcomings.  They are brave.

I'm not brave.  Or at least, I'm not that sort of brave.  The truth is, the thought of succeeding scares me just as much as the thought of failing, maybe more.

A few months ago, I applied for a study abroad program to China.  I didn't get in.  For some reason, though, I knew that I wouldn't.  Even as I filled out the application, I kept thinking to myself, They're not going to choose me.  There just nothing about me that sticks out on paper.

Similarly, tonight I had a call back audition for the lead in a show.  There were seventeen girls who got called back for that part.  As soon as I saw how many other girls were being considered for the part, I knew that I would not get it.  I didn't get in the show.

Now, I'm not psychologist, so I can't really say how much this, "It's not going to be me" attitude is acting like a self-fulfilling prophecy.   I can, however say that I have become comfortable with not making it.  That's probably not a good thing.

This cozy relationship with not making it was largely developed as a defense mechanism.  Most people don't like to feel disappointment.  More importantly, most people don't like others to witness their disappointment.  We often wonder to ourselves, What if I don't make it? Then all my hoping and dreaming will be for nothing.  Or worse, what if I do get it?  What if I make it and the reality is way worse than I imagined it would be?

I'm not really trying to say that people should just throw themselves wholeheartedly into every dream.  I guess I'm just trying to say that disappointment happens.  That's okay.  It's not a horrible thing to feel disappointed or to let those close to you know about it.  Just remember to let yourself dream, at least sometimes.  Dare to dream.

P.S. Don't you just love this picture?  It's the cutest interpretation of disappointment ever!