Back to Work

Well, folks, here goes.  I'm about to head out for my first day back at my summer job.  I can't say that I'm truly thrilled, but I'm not about to cry either.  The thing is, I woke up this morning with a pretty bad headache, which was not remotely helped by the ibuprofen that I took for it, and when my family and I were saying the Tuesday rosary with our next door neighbors, I had a headache related epiphany.

Today we meditated on the sorrowful mysteries, as we do every Tuesday.  As we were praying I realized that my headaches can be my own personal crown of thorns.  It is not a new idea by any means, but still one that really helped me not mind the headache.

After the rosary, I went up to my room to get ready for work and it occurred to me that I ought not to limit myself to offering up physical headaches.  I can offer up the metaphorical ones as well!  So here I go!  I'm off to work and hopefully, through my little crowns of thorns, to win a martyr's crown as well. 

Dream, when you're feeling blue...

Before I begin this post, feast your eyes on this:

 

Do not such places inspire you to dream?

Lately I have been feeling especially "day-dreamy", not in the way of imagining that I'm someone else, but in the way of feeling as if I could do something really wonderful.  I feel a little bit unstoppable.  I feel a little bit as if I can be one of those quirky characters in movies.  The fearless ones, who do crazy but harmless things just for the heck of it and totally change someone's life. 

I haven't really figured out how I'm going to accomplish this dramatic heroism, but look out, because I'm sure going to try.

P.S. I have removed all of my short story posts until such a time as I can post the whole thing.

On Disappointment

Sometimes we just get our hopes up.  Maybe not in a big way, but it happens, right?  Even though there's a part of us that keeps saying, "Don't hope.  It's not going to happen to you" there's always that other part that says, "but what if it does?  What would that be like?"  Hope is great.  It's what dreams are often made of.

Some people aren't afraid to dream big.  They are confident that what they want is out there and they are capable of achieving it.  I admire those people a lot.  They are going to be the movers and shakers of this world.  They are not afraid of their own shortcomings.  They are brave.

I'm not brave.  Or at least, I'm not that sort of brave.  The truth is, the thought of succeeding scares me just as much as the thought of failing, maybe more.

A few months ago, I applied for a study abroad program to China.  I didn't get in.  For some reason, though, I knew that I wouldn't.  Even as I filled out the application, I kept thinking to myself, They're not going to choose me.  There just nothing about me that sticks out on paper.

Similarly, tonight I had a call back audition for the lead in a show.  There were seventeen girls who got called back for that part.  As soon as I saw how many other girls were being considered for the part, I knew that I would not get it.  I didn't get in the show.

Now, I'm not psychologist, so I can't really say how much this, "It's not going to be me" attitude is acting like a self-fulfilling prophecy.   I can, however say that I have become comfortable with not making it.  That's probably not a good thing.

This cozy relationship with not making it was largely developed as a defense mechanism.  Most people don't like to feel disappointment.  More importantly, most people don't like others to witness their disappointment.  We often wonder to ourselves, What if I don't make it? Then all my hoping and dreaming will be for nothing.  Or worse, what if I do get it?  What if I make it and the reality is way worse than I imagined it would be?

I'm not really trying to say that people should just throw themselves wholeheartedly into every dream.  I guess I'm just trying to say that disappointment happens.  That's okay.  It's not a horrible thing to feel disappointed or to let those close to you know about it.  Just remember to let yourself dream, at least sometimes.  Dare to dream.

P.S. Don't you just love this picture?  It's the cutest interpretation of disappointment ever!

Proverbs for Friends

The semester is almost over and my friends and I are about to face a great many changes.  Some people are graduating.   Others are just moving into different apartments.  Some are planning to go far away.  Others will be left to find a way to have fun at the same old place, while it's missing a bunch of its regulars.


Change is tough.   It's true.  I know that I reflect on that a great deal on this blog, but that is because it's very true, especially for me.  I feel incredibly blessed to have the friends that I do and I know that friendships like this are few and far between.  I am doubly fortunate because I know that these changes do not mean the end of these friendships.

That being said, I'd still like to take moment to reflect on some things that I've learned from my friends in the last few years.


- No matter how many times someone tells you that they like you and want to be your friend, if you don't go out on a limb and take them at their word, then you will never believe them or see the truth.

- Lots of people get grumpy when they're hungry or stressed.

- Often, trying to fix things makes it worse.  Sometimes all you can do is admit that you don't know what someone needs and just them know that you're there to do whatever they need that you can do.

- Forgiveness is essential to any friendships.

- Assumptions are the Devil.

- If you're not a good secret keeper, it's probably better that you prevent people from telling you secrets.

- If you're worried that something you've done might have upset a friend, ask him or her about it yourself.  Don't wait for him or her to get the convoluted "telephone" version from someone else.

- If you want to know something, ask a person who is directly involved.  A lot can get lost in translation, when third parties are involved.

- Hugs, smiles, and compliments can carry someone through the roughest day, or enrich them on their best.

- Pray for each other.

- Treat each other with compassion, love, and mercy,

- If a friend asks you how your doing, don't hold out on them.  It is not weakness to lean on others.


My dearest friends,  you know who you are, you taught me these little lessons.  Thanks for sticking with me as I learn and re-learn them! 

Peace,
-T

Divine Mercy

Today is the first day of the Divine Mercy Novena. Saying this novena can bring a plenary indulgence.  The Catholic Encyclopedia on Indulgences can be found here.   A podcast of the novena as well as other information and prayers associated with Divine Mercy can be found here.   Have a blessed day!