Wednesday, January 9, 2008

A Beginning

There is so much to say and no easy way to begin. For me, beginnings are always the hardest, in every sense. I struggle with beginning friendships, stories, papers, books, prayers, tasks, school, and so much more. Still, it is more than merely procrastination, although I'm sure procrastination plays a part. The cause of my trouble with beginnings has been fear, laziness, a desire to prevent the end from coming, or just a plain lack of knowledge on how to begin.

With beginnings comes another struggle for me; change. It has always been an adversary to me and seems to come at the least convenient time. When I wish things to change, they move at a sluggish pace, lasting years on some occasions, but when I wish things to linger, they disappear in a matter of days. Perhaps it is the same with everyone. I do not know.

I have decided, though, that I will try to learn humble acceptance of the things that I cannot change. I hope to grow and improve a great deal between now and the summer months. I ask for prayers that I may be successful and not get in my own way.

And so, I begin...