Thursday, January 10, 2008

Wonder

Today I slept in 'till ten, again. I was sad for that because it always makes me feel as if I've wasted half of my day. However, I was able to attend a midday Mass at the Abbey, which is near my house.

As I was in Mass, I was reflecting on the words of Dr. Scott Hahn on the Mass, the book of Revelation, and the sense of awe and wonder that he felt when he realized the connection between the two. I know that I should feel the same awe and wonder, but most of the time, I don't.

All my life I've been familiar with the scriptures and the liturgy and I fear that I have come to take them for granted. I know that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist and yet, some days I can look upon Him with so little interest that I am sure my coldness hurts Him.

Ever since I was a young child, I have always felt inspired and challenged by the lives of the saints. After reading them, I would come away with strong resolutions to be kinder, more patient, more humble, more disciplined, and more prayerful. Needless to say, in my humanness, it was much of a crash and burn attempt each time.

Thankfully, I did manage to take away some valuable information. Most importantly, I have become more and more aware of my own ignorance. It is often daunting and quite humbling and yet there is a peace there. I know that I don't have to have all the answers and that in His time, God will open my heart so that I too may know that sense of wonder in His magnificent presence.